Calling herself the "Acceptance Advocate", today's guest on Parent Choices for Struggling Teens was Nancy Rose, who has made it her personal mission to make sure children receive the validation and guidance they need in order to become the best version of who they are- rather than who they think they should be in order to be loved. Lon Woodbury got Nancy to open up and share some of her own personal experiences in "growing up feeling unaccepted" by her mother and the emotional wounds and pain that occur in children when they don't that acceptance. "These wounds won't heal" shared Nancy.
The big question then is how do you raise your child without imposing your expectations on them? "I think many parents don't accept their children for who they are- our focus now is on if our child is a "success". "I think parents are well meaning, but they use their definition of success and impose that on their child. And when parents impose ideas of who that child should be, it shuts down the parts of the child that "don't fit", and then the child will show what parent wants to see. The end result- the child gets the message that it is not ok with who they are and they have to change. As a result, many kids don't know who they are."
Parents have expectations for their child: the best schools and the best grades. "We want children who reflect well on us, and this goes back several generations, this model of parenting." Nancy has developed a new model of parenting though- called "Leading with Acceptance". Nancy explained that acceptance should be the starting point in parenting and then leading the family with the skills to guide and teach your child to be the best version of who they can be. Nancy has also identified 9 traits that make up the "core self" of each child and believes it the job of the parent to find what those core strengths are within their child. "This is the framework I give parents, then through communication and active listening they can say to their teen: I want to understand you. I want to do a better job at listening to you.
Lon Woodbury is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports, Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984, raised four children, is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens and author of Parent Empowerment Handbook, available on amazon.com.
Nancy Rose is the author of the book- "Raise the Child You've Got- Not the One You Want" and calls herself "The Acceptance Advocate". Once a tax attorney and CPA, Nancy now presents workshops and writes about the fundamental need of children to be accepted as they are.
If you know somebody (including yourself) who would make a good guest on our show and might be interested, Contact Lon at lonwoodbury@gmail.com or 208-267-5550
Upcoming shows:
March 10:
Adam Dolgin- Blogger and founder of Fodder4Fathers.com (Fathers are Equal Partners in Parenting)
March 17:
Dr. Ross Greene- author- "Lost at School"
March 24:
Ellen Galinsky- author- Ask the Children- Teens in the Family
March 31:
Chris Kelly- Legalizing Marijuana: Good or Bad?
April 7:
Dan Hanks- College Success for Autistic Young Adults
