Woodbury Reports, Inc.
Bonners Ferry, ID

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Helping Teens Grow Strong for Adult Life

April 14, 2014

Joining Lon Woodbury and his co-host Liz McGhee on LA TALK Radio's, Parent Choices for Struggling Teens was one of our past guests, Denny Coates, the CEO of Performance Support Systems, an online coaching service for parents, teachers, coaches and youth program leaders. Bringing us up to speed on his new endeavors, Denny explained they have been working on resources for adult's that work with youth to help them mentor young people and to build their communication skills. They have also developed a program for teens themselves for personal development that covers about 12 areas of strength building and 5 communication skills building sessions that is offered for free through schools and youth programs that are participating in the Rising Stars Initiative program.

"The phrase "it takes a village" is especially difficult for parents with teens now, particularly with our communities being more mobile and the critical need for mentors being more difficult to fill. Adult mentors are out there to help, but they have to be sought, relatives and neighbors need to be engaged by parents, first by establishing a relationship with them. And then to assist in mentoring these kids as they mature. Teens have a difficult time in growing up- they are naïve, they have skills to learn, and they don't know what they want or what they want to do. Mentors can help with engaging these kids through sports, scouting, and other activities while also forming relationships with them and to help guide them into adulthood."

Add to that, "most adults are not that great at communicating- how well do they really listen, or even dialog with each other? The problem is we were never taught how to do it right. We learned our communication skills just by hanging out with our friends, parents and others- mostly in a dysfunctional way. When there is conflict, we want to win rather than find a solution…that is how we grew up! And communicating with teens is hard anyways. We need to communicate with them the way we like to be talked to, like an adult! But often we speak to them like they are still a child, which is a carryover from when they were young. One skill that I recommend is "stimulating thinking" while we are talking with them to get their thoughts on the matter- what do you think? What would you do? These are emerging adults, communicate with them on an adult to adult level, shared Denny. And if a parent really wants a good outcome, or as I call it "conscious parenting" they will start improving on their own skills that need improvement, to be a better listener, to give good feedback, etc. It is a difficult thing to change, but you have to do the "reps"…do it over and over like learning a sports skill. As Lon summed it up, "conscious parenting is being aware of what you're doing and take self-responsibility for improving your skills."

To listen to the full interview, go to Helping Teens Grow Strong for Adult Life on LATalkRadio.
Also available in Podcast

Lon Woodbury is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports, Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984 and is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens.

Elizabeth McGhee is the Director of Admissions and Referral Relations at Sandhill Child Development Center and has over 19 years' of clinical, consulting and referral relations experience to her position and is the co-host.

Denny Coates is the CEO of Performance Support Systems, publisher of a family of online coaching services for parents, teachers, coaches and youth program leaders who want to make a difference in the lives of young people. He is also the creator of "Strong for Life" a similar self-development [program for the teens themselves, available free through schools and youth programs participating in the Rising Stars Initiative.

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If you know somebody (including yourself) who would make a good guest on our show and might be interested,

Contact Lon at lonwoodbury@gmail.com or 208-267-5550

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Upcoming shows:

April 21:
Janet Allison- Boys Alive!

April 28:
Randye Kay- Sometimes It Is More than Attitude

May 5:
Robert Nielson- Pulling Back the Blinders

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Attention:

The following books are available on Amazon.com:

Part 1 - The Introduction to the Parent Empowerment Handbook

Part 2 - Single Sex Schools

Part 3 - Wilderness Therapy and Outdoor Education

Part 4 - Pre-Teens & Young Adults