Woodbury Reports, Inc
Bonners Ferry, ID

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Children of Unbalanced Marriages

Hellen Chen, aka "the Matchmaker of the Century" and family expert, joined Lon Woodbury today on Parent Choices for Struggling Teens, discussing what happens to children in a "unbalanced marriage" and what parents need to do to keep the family balanced. When parents are going through a 'rough patch' in their marriages (fighting, love affairs, financial issues or working issues) often times the children feel cheated and not trusted, and ultimately unwanted because parents are keeping secrets and not communicating with them. This feeling tends to snowball into negative behaviors such as smoking, drinking, depression, drugs, over eating and eventually looking for love outside of the home. This can be through gangs or unhealthy sexual relationships. Hellen urges parents to communicate with their children, "talk truthfully and honestly with each other, speak nicely and talk as much as possible with your kids. It is important to have quality time together rather than quantity. Keep your promises and do something when you say you are going to do something. Broken promises and lack of communication creates unbalance and children quit listening and become disrespectful."

"Parents need to set a good example. How we love, we learn from our parents, how we talk to others, we learn from our parents and how we treat others, we learn from our parents. It takes work to balance family life. You need to know how to communicate before you have children and you need to learn to be a mother or father. Parents need to be educated in these matters." Allow your children to express their feelings and listen to them. Do not keep secrets from your children because they will imagine the worst and they will feel terrible."

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, in raising a family, working at your careers and keeping up with the hectic schedules it is important to also work on your relationship with your spouse for both the mom and the dad. Hellen suggests "planning and scheduling time for each other and always put in the time for your spouse. Be creative in keeping the romance in your marriage. Figure out what your ideal date or time spent together could be and work at it. Have the willingness to do it and put in the work to make it happen. Plan what you will be doing and do it!"

To listen to the full interview go to Children of Unbalanced Marriages on LATalkRadio.
Also available in Podcast

Lon Woodbury is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984 and is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens.

Hellen Chen is a family expert, matchmaker and the author of "The Matchmaker of the Century", in addition to another 20 other books she has written. Hellen has been interviewed on CBS, NBC, FOX and ABC. She is also an international workshop facilitator on topics related to marriage and family.