Woodbury Reports, Inc.
Bonners Ferry, ID

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Sex And The Teen

Joining us on "The Woodbury Report" on K4HD.com
our featured guest:
Nikol Hasler
Project Manager at KCET TV and Author
"Sex: A Book for Teens"

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

"No one wants to look like they don't know what they are talking about- when it comes to sex, so they get information from their friends, but then it is like "the blind leading the blind and then saying- We can see!". And yet, this is exactly how teens are acquiring information about sex, pregnancy and all the particulars that go into having sexual intercourse. So, after creating pod casts for her show- Mid West Teen Sex Show, Nikol Hasler was approached about writing a book for teens about sex, but with subjects adults just don't talk to teens about. Sex: A Book for Teens was born! Our guest today on The Woodbury Report was author and project manager at KCET television- Nikol Hasler, a single mother of three who spent her childhood in the foster care system and at 18 years old, found herself pregnant and homeless. She is now an advocate for teaching and talking to teens about the nitty gritty aspects of sex. "No one talked to me about birth control when I was in the system, they just put me on birth control, so when I left- I immediately became pregnant. It is uncomfortable for me to talk to teens about sex, of course it is and so I make jokes about sex. Then it can be more 'straight forward'…I say things that are ridiculous, but it breaks down the tension. I talk about the things no one wants to talk about- STD's, protected sex, oral sex- no subject is off limits.

Others ask me if I have these conversations with my own kids…"I've never sat them down and had "the talk". There are plenty of opportunities to talk about sex, in everyday life." And in real life, Lon asked Nikol what do teens ask or what is their main concern? "Am I normal" she explained was the main question…because of their thoughts or urges, are they normal. The number one question they ask: All of my friends are having sex and I am not interested in it- am I ok? Sometimes a teen will reach out with a question, something rather common and then they have this need to create a series of melodramatic instances to keep the conversation going. Often boys will say- "I wish you were my mom", but I think that would change if they talked to my kids!

Nikol shared parts of her story, her personal journey through some of the foster care system and discounted some of the myths about kids in the system- "they assume that these kids are street smart and know more- they don't know. You need to cover the basics with them too. For girls that are acting out promiscuously- they are acting out on the shame they feel of being abused and they think- "fine, I'm already broken so I am going to have sex (and act out sexually)". This is common in girls and yet for boys, they tend to clam up and go the opposite direction. Kids in the foster care system are easy targets for sexual abuse, especially if they are coming from an abusive home.

The attitudes around sex has definitely changed over the years, kids talk openly about it, in front of me, in front of their parents- they are really laid back about it! And with gender preferences- they are very accepting. With the internet, it is crazy! There is so much information out there that isn't accurate and porn...kids can access it at any time! The time to talk to your kids about everything is now. "If you don't talk to your kids about sex, someone else will. Be straight forward, tell them that it's uncomfortable for you (if it is) and talk to them.

To Contact Nikol:
www.nikolhasler.com
You can also join Nikol on her Facebook page. (Nikol's book is available in libraries, on Amazon and in Kindle version)

Listen to the full interview here: Sex And The Teen
Also available in Podcast

Once again, we would like to thank Rich Simpson - owner of Pathways, a transitional living program- and his students for creating our opening music for "The Woodbury Reports" K4HD.com radio show.

Please join us each Tuesday at 12:00 noon- PST- with host, Lon Woodbury on K4HD.com, home of Hollywood LA Internet Talk Radio- partnered with iHeart Radio. This live show is broadcast weekly with guests who specialize in the issues and struggles of teens, adolescents, young adults and their families. They are informed, interesting, cutting edge, funny and always willing to share tips and new information as it becomes available. There is a live chat option on our radio site for those wanting to ask our guests a question during the show.