Remembering Phyllis S. Steinbrecher

On September 16, Phyllis S. Steinbrecher ended a gallant and brave forty-seven year war with cancer. Few were privy to this reality, which is testimony to her mental toughness and grace. She rarely complained, but fought the good fight.

I am consumed by grief and gratitude. I mourn the death of Phyllis. I feel gratitude that Phyllis no longer suffers. The quality of her life had deteriorated beyond repair. Having attended the funeral where Rachael, Sarah, Matthew, and Mikaeid (her four grandchildren); Laura LiVigni, Marcy and Alan Pukin (her daughters, and Stephen (her husband) remembered this very special person with reverence and respect, I felt privileged to be a witness to this celebration of Phyllis Steinbrecher's life. Each had and treasured a special relationship with her. Their individual and collective love and appreciation was inspiring. I left feeling determined to do better and be a better person. Phyllis' legacy will continue. She had such a profoundly positive impact on each member of her family. The Steinbrecher family learned Phyllis' life lessons well--i.e., to love, to respect, to appreciate, and to value others. Phyllis Steinbrecher's humanity far outweighs her awesome professional achievements. Phyllis loomed larger than life to her family and many colleagues.

Phyllis S. Steinbrecher was much more than a colleague; she was a trusted and respected friend. When Phyllis talked, I listened. When Phyllis counseled, I acted. I loved her and would like to think she loved me. We were kindred souls. Phyllis knew what I meant when I sign all correspondences, "In the Struggle Together." We had similar ideals and passions, i.e., to help adolescents help themselves by maximizing personal, educational, and professional options.

Phyllis had one commitment I did not-- devoting much time and energy working for breast cancer groups. Those who knew Phyllis know she would appreciate a donation in her name to the Breast Cancer Emergency Aid Foundation, the charity which consumed much time and energy.

The John Dewey Academy owes Phyllis a tremendous debt. Had Phyllis not had made as many referrals to JDA, more than ninety percent of whom are at least college graduates, I think the school would have perished. One of our major disagreements was who owed whom more? I joked, "I make your life easier when we take your kids." Phyllis quipped, "Without my kids, JDA would not survive." We always split the dinner bill because neither of us would concede. Phyllis was a member of The John Dewey academy's Board of Directors. She was reluctant to accept the offer because she feared it would be a conflict of interest since she referred clients to us. Since she never was compensated by JDA, counsel advised her it was fine. Ironically after joining the Board, the number of referrals decreased since Phyllis was waging war against cancer which ultimately consumed her.

The night before writing this, I received a phone call from a parent whose daughter graduated fifteen years ago. She wanted me to advise a friend. Four times she said she would call me tomorrow. When I informed her that I would be attending the funeral of a beloved colleague so I would not be at school, and mentioned Phyllis's name, the caller gasped. I quote: "That dear woman saved Colby's life because she insisted that I send my daughter to JDA, though her colleagues had suggested different programs." This is, perhaps, the best compliment an educational consultant can receive. I felt good because Phyllis will be remembered fondly forever by many appreciative families and adolescents who literally owe their lives to her. Phyllis concealed the degree of caring she had for her kids. Often she mentioned she felt a sense of betrayal when a program did not "fix her kid." Fortunately, JDA did not disappoint her much.

Steinbrecher was the name of her firm. Phyllis built her business into the most trusted consultation corporation in the New York area, but had the good sense to entice the best to join her. Showing her humility, she called her enterprise, "Steinbrecher and Partners," not the typical "Steinbrecher and Associates." Perhaps, the biggest testimony is that Steinbrecher and Partners will survive her demise. It is comforting to know Phyllis's unique and unequaled spirit will continue after her passing.

A graduate of NYU and Fairfield University, Steinbrecher devoted her life to education. Several years later, after a brief career of teaching, Phyllis started her educational consulting firm. She was a co-author of four books, a lecturer, and conducted many workshops. Being an idealistic pioneer, Phyllis was one of the founders of The Independent Educational Consultants Association, though when they did not maintain her high ethical standards, she resigned.

Let it be written in stone that Phyllis Steinbrecher made the world a better place for many. There is no better compliment. I left the funeral feeling inspired, invigorated, and determined to do my best to make this crazy world a better place to live.

These words memorialize, in part, how lucky I feel to have known her for a quarter of a century. I'm grateful and proud that Phyllis was my friend. I love her and will miss her. No one can fill the void that her death caused.

Thank you for writing such a beautiful piece about Phyllis. I, too, knew her and I was always amazed at her love of life. She never complained and gave me the strength to be a better person today.

Thank you.

Frances Cassola
River Edge, NJ
201-343-3434
fcassola@pecklaw.com