Pulling Back the Blinders

May 5, 2014

Joining Lon Woodbury and his co-host, Liz McGhee on LATALKRadio.com, "Parent Choices for Struggling Teens" for an honest discussion about the harmful effects of parent's "wearing blinders" when it comes to getting help for their child, was his guests: Rob Nielson, LMFT and founder of Cedar Ridge Academy and Brent Crane, also a therapist at Cedar Ridge Academy. Asking Rob what it means by wearing blinders and what does that really mean, Rob explained that often times, "parents feel the need to soothe their kids, to fix things for them, but they need to deal with life. These kids need to get to the core of what is underneath the behaviors�there you will find hurt, insecurity, anxiety or fear. The behaviors hide the issues and for a child not dealing with the issues- those feelings of the issues get stronger and most likely to get even worse."

Brent added that there are three main concerns that parents can watch for regarding behaviors that consequently will need intervention:

Frequency of the behavior- is it increasing?
Intensity of the behavior- is your child becoming more aggressive with you? Has the verbal disagreements escalated to screaming or yelling?
Duration- does the behavior/issue resolve itself quickly or does it take longer?

"These are some key things that may need some serious intervention" Brent explained.

"Anxiety seems to be more common now with kids, why is that?" asked Lon. "With immediate gratification in these children's lives- with technology, texting and no social interaction, this is creating a sense of dis-connection with people, which then creates low self-confidence and lack of social skill interactions. And often anxious children are mirroring the anxiousness of their parents- who are doing everything they can to not let their child feel bad." When these kids come to our school, we help them re-connect with what is going on in their bodies and to help them to understand they are de-sensitized. Young people have learned so many ways to not feel. So, exercise, karate and good nutrition help. We teach "mindfulness" and acceptance for who they are, often through meditation or yoga, so they learn to understand their bodies and what their bodies are feeling and saying.

To alleviate the anxiety in the kids, you need to alleviate the anxiety in the parents. Parents need educating and a supportive process. Parental fear keeps their blinders on and here at Cedar Ridge, we are asking them to remove those blinders and quit rescuing their kids. The most powerful tool a parent has with their child is listening, and "listening to your kids empowers them."

To listen to the full interview, go to Pulling Back the Blinders on LATalkRadio.
Also available in Podcast

Lon Woodbury is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports, Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984 and is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens.

Elizabeth McGhee is the Director of Admissions and Referral Relations at Sandhill Child Development Center and has over 19 years' of clinical, consulting and referral relations experience to her position and is the co-host.

If you know somebody (including yourself) who would make a good guest on our show and might be interested,

Contact Lon at lonwoodbury@gmail.com or 208-267-5550

Upcoming Shows:

May 12:
Dr. Kevin Ross Emery- "Famous People with ADHD- Are You One Waiting to Happen?"
May 19:
Patti Murphy- Educational Consultant- "Getting Them Out of the Basement!"
June 2:
Dr. Michelle Robin- "How the Inside Impacts the Outside"

Attention:

The following books are available on Amazon.com:

Part 1 - The Introduction to the Parent Empowerment Handbook

Part 2 - Single Sex Schools

Part 3 - Wilderness Therapy and Outdoor Education

Part 4 - Pre-Teens & Young Adults