Today's guest on Parent Choices for Struggling Teens, explained that neuro-science has discovered over 100 differences between the male and female brain, and specifically on today's show, Janet Allison, the founder of Boys Alive!, author, educator and family coach shared about today's boys and what is happening in our schools in light of these new findings. Janet, a teacher herself, talked about her first teaching position as a 1st grade teacher- with 10 boys and 2 girls. Working with boys and their exuberant energy came as a complete shock to her…that is when she really got interested in the brain and behavior differences between boys and girls. Janet also contributes her peaked interest in this learning from Michael Gurian and his book- The Wonder of Boys. Lon asked Janet what some of the differences are specifically between the sexes and her reply "besides the structural, chemical and hormonal differences- males have less places to process verbal language, they use less words- less sensory detail words- with more of an emphasis on logical- step one, step two, etc. Whereas girls focus on the emotions- they love the story!
Boys are more physical- their growth motor area matures faster than girls; boys have more spinal fluid circulating, and it processes through the spine and out through their limbs- making them more active, they react first before thinking and are more impulsive as a result of this. On the same hand, it is difficult for parents to understand the parenting strategies with boys because they too think differently- Moms are the nurturers and Dads are concerned with the outcome, the success of their boys. What they do have in common though is "parents long to be the best parents they can be. I just wish they had more patience because they are awfully hard on themselves" Janet shared. "It is parenting to get on the same page, putting together two completely different experiences (how mom and dad themselves were raised) and keep what works, get rid of the rest and to create their own family values."
With 80% of those diagnosed with ADHD being boys, our boys are struggling. "Gender has to be part of the conversation and it is a hot button topic. Parents need to become advocates for their boys and schools have to have this information- it is imperative for teachers to understand that males and females learn differently. As a parent with sons there are some steps you can do to communicate and support them: first- get physically active with them, use less words when talking with them- for most, it overwhelms the boy's brain, listen more- let them talk and really listen, support their interests, and bring in elders- boys need to be trained and educated by elders. Use these elders for your son's "rite of passage".
With such a strong belief in communication techniques, a deeper understanding of our boys and the building of stronger parent child relationships, Janet's hopes and goals are that "every one of us can see each other from this foundation of our genders and see the differences and embrace each other."
Lon Woodbury is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports, Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984 and is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens.
Elizabeth McGhee is the Director of Admissions and Referral Relations at Sandhill Child Development Center and has over 19 years' of clinical, consulting and referral relations experience to her position and is the co-host.
Janet Allison is an author, educator and family coach, who works with parents and teachers helping them understand all-things-boy. Janet has a degree in Elementary Education and has trained extensively in such areas as Waldorf Education and Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
If you know somebody (including yourself) who would make a good guest on our show and might be interested,
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