Woodbury Reports, Inc
Bonners Ferry, ID

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When Young Adults
Still Need To Grow Up

Jayne Longnecker-Selby, Founder and Executive Director of Benchmark Transitions, sat down with Lon Woodbury today on Parent Choices for Struggling Teens to discuss the vast differences in today's young adults and the difficulties they face in "growing up" as compared to the youth in the 1950's and 60's. In quoting Joe Westbrook, the definition of an adult is: "Adulthood is defined by the willingness to exhibit full responsibility for where you are at in life; no longer blaming others or circumstances." Jayne believes a "common thread for a lot of our kids now is their role models are difficult to define. Kids today are plagued with so many different choices, more complex learning issues, more variety and severity of substance abuse, more emotional disturbances and young adults with more suicidal tendencies. And parents are struggling almost as much as their kids are."

"In working with families, the biggest conflict for them is in recognizing what their role is and figuring out what they should be doing vs. what they are doing and seeing when their help is actually hurting them. Parents get conflicting information and once kids reach 18 there isn't as much in the way of real honest help for parents and their kids."

Steven, an alumni student of Benchmark joined in the interview and shared with Lon and his audience, his own personal thoughts and insights into today's young adults such as, the lack of manners and discipline and the loss of personal touch due to the electronics of cell phones and computers. Steven shared what led him to Benchmark and his personal journey through this program.

Common parenting models were discussed, from hovering, "helicopter" parents, and authoritarian parents, overly protective and permissive parenting to abusive parents- who are rude, verbally abusive or those that attempt to distance themselves.

Jayne shared some words of advice to parents who are dealing with their struggling young adults: talk to your kids about your expectations and set your boundaries firmly. Talk to your kids early about drugs and alcohol and get help for them early if needed. Family counseling, counseling and self-help groups are out there…use them and definitely get help for your child when you notice the key warning signs of trouble: your child is getting drunk or high instead of going to school, a change in friends and peers that they are hanging out with, things are missing from home such as jewelry, money, electronics and other noticeable items, they are not coming home at curfew or at all and refuse to follow your directions and they are exhibiting aggression and violent behavior towards parents and/or family members. "This is when you need to get professional help."

To listen to the full interview, go to When Young Adults Still Need To Grow Up on LATalkRadio.
Also available in Podcast

Lon Woodbury is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports, Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984 and is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens.

Jayne Longnecker-Selby is the founder and Executive Director of Benchmark Transitions, a residential transitional living program for young adult men and women, providing clinical treatment, recovery, aftercare, education, and life skills. Jayne hold a Master's of Arts degree in Education with an emphasis on Special Education from the University of Colorado. With extensive experiences in working with at-risk adolescents, Jayne founded Benchmark Young Adult School in 1993, which later transitioned to become Benchmark Transitions in 2008.