Woodbury Reports, Inc
Bonners Ferry, ID

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What's Happening to
Our Daughters?

Even though females today are feeling more empowered, with a greater sense of self and having more opportunities in leadership and business, there are increasing numbers of girls with self harm issues and suicidal thoughts and eating disorders. There are also a rising number of girls participating in crimes in our society today. Dustin Tibbitts, LMFT, the President of InnerChange- residential treatment centers for girls across the country, was Lon Woodbury's guest today on 'Parent Choices for Struggling Teens'. "Magazines, movies, TV and the Internet are damaging to young women today. The objectification of women/girls is at the highest in history, with girls involved in sexting, internet soft porn and pornography. And now girls today are questioning where to gain their power…through their sexuality or by other means. Dustin went on to add that "the internet and social media, FaceBook relationships and cyber bullying, dress codes and even what they eat, are quite damaging to a girls self confidence."

On the therapeutic side, the relational approach and 'trauma informed care' are the newest techniques in working with these struggling young women. This trauma informed care includes researching the brain, seeing what trauma can do to the brain and how it reacts with the female brain in particular. Therapists are now coming from a place of compassion and empathy, giving and sharing from inside themselves in order to build relationships with them and in doing so, the results are being seen as positive. "Being objective does not work. For a girl to share, she must trust the people working with her, to be there and yet still have healthy boundaries. For these young women to heal, they need a sense of hope, a powerful and safe relationship, consistent structure and competent care givers." Or as Dustin put it "I can't do therapy to you. I can do therapy with you."

Parents can help their daughters by spending consistent quality time with them, have set schedules for them- providing the structure they need and creating and involving the family in family traditions. These can be family dinners, going to church, going on a family vacation once a year or even how the family celebrates the holidays, the things that teach family values. Also important is the relationship a father has with his daughter because if a father is not connected or disengaged, the daughter will seek what they are missing with inappropriate, even dangerous relationships with males. For mothers of daughters, it is important for them to take time to rejuvenate themselves. Mother's tend to get overly stressed and it is important for the daughters to see their mothers taking care of themselves. Mothers should also get in touch with their own higher power. "We heal by being connected to others". To build the father/daughter, mother/daughter relationships, parents must get creative, become friends with their friends or have a weekly lunch date with their daughter. Ask questions rather than give out the answers, or as Lon has been saying for years and years- "they just need to be heard."

To listen to the full interview go to What's Happening to Our Daughters? on LATalkRadio.
Also available in Podcast

Lon Woodbury is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984 and is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens

Dustin Tibbitts, LMFT is a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist and the President of InnerChange, a provider of long-term residential treatment for girls and young women. These treatment centers include: New Haven, Sunrise, Fulshear Ranch and Chrysalis. Dustin has been with InnerChange since 1996 (working at New Haven) and is the Assistant Chair of NATSAP's Government Relations Committee.

This segment was sponsored by Spring Ridge Academy, 928-632-4602, www.springridgeacademy.com, a Therapeutic Boarding School for Girls in Arizona.