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The Importance of Fathers

"The greatest legacy you can leave your kids is to show them what good parenthood is like, by being a positive role model. That is the ultimate goal," shared Dr. David Andrews on Parent Choices for Struggling Teens. Dr. Andrews is a leading authority on education and the impact of adults on the emerging lives of children, the Dean of Johns Hopkins University's School of Education and a professor at three research universities. He is also author of his new book, My Father's Day Gift. Joining host Lon Woodbury, Dr. Andrews shared about the positive impact that strong male role models, especially fathers, have on their children. A father's influence matters to his kids…he influences how to behave around other males and females, nurturing and giving feedback. He lights up their lives when they participate in their day to day life. For boys, a father teaches them how to be a man, without being a bully. Girls learn what it is like to be in an appropriate and positive relationship with the opposite sex.

If a father is not in the home due to death or divorce, it is important for single mothers to find other positive male role models. These can be uncles, grandfathers or other family members. There are also many mentoring programs with male roles models in communities that can be very effective. When asked what specific things a father can do to influence his children, Dave had a great list of "to dos":

• Be engaged and have a positive relationship with your kids


• Work close with Mom or other adult caretaker in the environment, with good consistent communication


• Create the right structure


• Give children limits to protect them


• Be actively involved with them, in sports activities, academics, reading to them or even art projects. These interactions help build the relationships with your kids.

"There is no shortcut to building a positive relationship, it takes time," explained Dr. Andrews. Sometimes the situation at home calls for the mom to work out of the home and the dad is a stay at home dad. Regardless, dads need to bring their parenting and skill levels to the family.

"The kids are excited to have an engaged and participating dad at home and especially glad to have his attention. You don't realize the impact an engaged dad has on his kids until years later, when they start raising their own kids and they imitate your adult behavior. When you hear your adult child use your phrases and mannerisms with their kids, it can be rewarding.

How can children thank their fathers when they become adults? For Dr. Andrews, when his father was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, he wanted his father to know how much his positive influence had on his life. He started to question himself, "Have I told him enough just how important his influence was on my life? Have I told him the difference he had made in my life?" That is where Dr. Andrews got the idea for his book, My Father's Day Gift.

To listen to the full interview, go to The Importance of Fathers on LATalkRadio.
Also available in Podcast

Lon Woodbury is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports, Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984 and is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens and The Woodbury Reports.

Dr. Dave Andrews is a leading authority on education and the impact of adults on the emerging lives of children, the Dean of Johns Hopkins University's School of Education and a professor at three research universities. He is also author of his new book, My Father's Day Gift.

If you know somebody (including yourself) who would make a good guest on our show and might be interested, contact Lon at lonwoodbury@gmail.com or 208-267-5550

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Attention:

The following books are available on Amazon.com:

Part 1 - The Introduction to the Parent Empowerment Handbook
Part 2 - Single Sex Schools
Part 3 - Wilderness Therapy and Outdoor Education
Part 4 - Pre-Teens & Young Adults