As parent coaches, we work daily with a multitude of different family dynamics. We strive to provide support and offer parenting tools and tips to help navigate different situations. A recurring theme that we have seen over the last few months has been how to support families faced with challenging and aggressive behaviors at home. Here are some of the ways we shape proactive and in-the-moment steps to help parents effectively manage these situations.

First of all, it is important that we conduct a thorough assessment of the family dynamic and ask these questions:

1. What are the strengths and limitations of the children and parents?
2. What are the typical communication styles within the family system?
3. What buttons tend to get pushed?
4. What history has led to the “here and now”?
5. Have there been any traumas that have occurred?

After we have established the initial assessment, the Ecobiodevelopmental approach to an assessment asks us to look at the contributing factors in nature and in nurture, in order to look past a behavior and gain a better understanding. However, we see that, in the moment, parents need concrete tools for responding to and mitigating behaviors.

Many parents, who go through coaching work, will often talk about how it is easier to “give in” than to deal with another screaming match or with a child who follows them into the bathroom and bangs on the door until they come out.

We teach parent’s that the “give in” response from parents contributes to a child learning that the quick way to get needs met is through the intimidation tactic.

We regularly see that when parents start to change their responses as a way of shifting the whole system, intimidating and aggressive behavior can sometimes get worse before it gets better.

Here are some helpful tips we share with families for managing these situations:

• Be proactive: Teach parents how to create healthy boundaries
• Learn the cycles which commonly escalate to an aggressive or agitated state - which includes the parent’s ability to self-soothe during the start of an uncomfortable situations so that reactions do not contribute to escalation
• Develop the habit to train your child to advocate in healthy ways
• In the moment: Teach parents to set healthy and reasonable boundaries
• After the event: Coach parents how to repair and reconnect
• Teach parents to coach your child with questions: How could we have approached this differently or what could we do differently next time?

To find out more about our services and how to sustain change, please visit our website to meet our Therapy Professionals.

About Solutions Parenting Support
Solutions Parenting Support, LLC is a nationally recognized parent support and transitional program assisting families during and after wilderness therapy treatment and/or residential treatment programming. With business offices are in Steamboat Springs, CO and Tucson, AZ the team is supporting parents and families in the United States and globe. The team of parent coaches and transitional specialists are family system focused, licensed professional therapists and/or licensed social workers with a combined 40+ years of experience working in wilderness therapy programs, varying levels of residential treatment programming and transitional support.