This is part of a series of conversations with key Shortridge Academy leadership team members by Alumni Parent, Frank Anthony

I recently had a chance to sit down with Brian Laing, MA, and Counseling Psychology, who was recently promoted to counseling Program Director at Shortridge Academy. I have come to know him as a steady fixture both as a senior counselor for Shortridge students and as the ever popular and engaging facilitator of our Parent Workshops. With four years under his belt at Shortridge, I have found his depth of knowledge and perspective to be both comforting and insightful at every turn. I've also had fantastic contact with Brian's wife, Shelly Ispan-Laing who is the Transition Program/Alumni Counselor for Shortridge Academy.

Frank: First of all, congratulations on your well-deserved promotion to Counseling Program Director. Perhaps you could take a minute to describe how your role fits into the leadership team at Shortridge Academy.

Brian: Thank you. With Sarah Wagner, M.Ed. responsible for academics and Kay Patch, APRN focusing on supervising the clinical health center and medical aspects of the program, I round out our management team with direct responsibility for managing the counselors, residential mentors, and student life advisors; the design of our overall program, residential life activities, structure and programming. While we all work closely together, I primarily focus on how each student and his/her family is moving through the program and their experience with us.

Frank: I noticed that you just said each student and their families.

Brian: I did that intentionally. Consistent family support and involvement is critical to a student's ability to stay engaged in our program. Students arrive from Wilderness and from other programs open to trusting and believing that there is a new and healthier way for them to live their lives. They are coming off an incredibly positive experience that sets the stage for deeper work that requires much more time for the results to be lasting. If Wilderness is a sprint, Shortridge can feel like a marathon during which the entire family will hopefully learn how to get help, gain trust, and become more comfortable.

Our students ultimately feel security from their family's trust and commitment to this program, but it is a process that takes time for everyone. Unfortunately, as long as students sense that their family is unsure, their continued resistance to being here prevents them from really getting started. This manifests itself in lobbying to be pulled out, complaining about boredom, etc. This is a hard dynamic to move through for students and parents alike, which adds to everyone's anxiety.

Frank: I get that the students often won't move forward until they know that their parents are fully invested and committed, but this can be challenging for us. Many of us ended up in this situation as a result of trusting institutions and professionals too much, and we are reticent to trust again.

Brian: That's valid, and a big part of my job is to be a resource for parents who need to get a reality check after talking with their sons and daughters or their counselors. Being one step removed helps me to remain objective and I have the added perspective of hearing what other families are experiencing. There are lots of moving parts and relationships here, and while we certainly don't always get things right, we definitely recognize the importance of making it right when things get off track.

I know that this is tough all the way around for the entire family. Everyone gets tired and wants to stop, but it turns out that time itself is an important factor in this program. Throughout the program, we ask our students to take a look at their lives and to not only tolerate the discomfort of doing so, but to develop constructive coping skills to manage that discomfort. One of the critical keys that we stress is the importance of forming healthy and trusting relationships with peers and adults here at Shortridge as well as with family back home. This is a time for strong and engaged parenting and for all the adults in the students' lives to be communicating well.

Frank: Any tips on how to do that effectively from a distance?

Brian: Get to know the people who are in your sons and daughters lives here. You know your counselor, but also meet the teachers, the other staff, and some of the other students and families. The early on-campus visits are a great opportunity for this. But also, I really encourage families to demonstrate that they are doing their own work while their sons and daughters are here. I like to go back to something that the best Wilderness Therapists emphasize in impact letters and other interactions; that change has to happen in the whole family system. My goal is to support that by being more proactive in our relationships with parents, as we become more family focused. You are still the most important role models in your children's lives, and you can set the tone. I hope that we can build on our current level of family support with more frequent communications, workshops, and other vehicles in a healthy and productive partnership. This was an important theme in our most recent parent survey, and it is fully aligned with my priorities for the coming year.

Frank: I know that the other parents will be delighted to hear about increasing the frequency of workshops and other communications, as well as creating other opportunities to compare notes and to support each other. We are all walking along a path that can be difficult, but I have found great comfort by staying connected with others who are also on that path.

Brian: Yes, and thank you Frank for continuing to support Shortridge as an Alumni Parent.


Shortridge Academy is a year round, college preparatory, therapeutic boarding school for young men and women ages 14-17 years old at enrollment, grades 9-12. Shortridge Academy is one of only a few therapeutic boarding schools in the Northeast accredited by the rigorous New England Association of Schools and Colleges (NEASC) and the only school of its kind that explicitly utilizes the evidenced-based Positive Youth Development (PYD) curriculum to guide the individualized therapeutic programming for students. Since 2002 Shortridge Academy has been helping students and families who are struggling with academic performance, loss of interest in activities and increased conflict in family or peer relationships. For more information call 877-903-8968 or visit www.shortridgeacademy.com.