When five-time Grammy Award winner Michael McDonald and music industry leader Don Cook recently left their homes in Nashville and returned to a small prep school in Maine to write and record music with aspiring teen musicians, they were prepared to spend some time talking to the group about the importance of developing the right attitude.

The teenagers listened with good reason.

McDonald is a songwriter, vocalist, musician, and producer - whose solo career and involvement with The Doobie Brothers and Steely Dan have earned him national acclaim in the music industry and avid fans worldwide. Cook is one of Nashville's premier songwriters and producers, whose work includes that of Brooks & Dunn, Alabama, and The Mavericks.

Both men know a bit about what works and what doesn't when trying to make a name for oneself in the music industry - and it all comes down to courage, the right attitude, and having the ability to take positive risks. They are also parents and, having gone through a family program with their children, they've learned a bit about what it takes to inspire their own children to want to pursue their best in life.

McDonald's son and Cook's daughter are graduates of Hyde School, a group of prep and charter schools in Maine, Connecticut, New York, and Washington DC, that focus on character and leadership development.
Risk-taking and developing the right attitude to face challenges with character is central in philosophy and curriculum.

The music duo, having participated in the school's parent program when their children were enrolled there, saw an opportunity to meld what they do with Hyde's approach to leadership development. With the help of the school's music director, the musicians launched a music workshop that offered risk-taking as a vehicle to allow creativity to take shape in a special way.

"These kids are natural risk-takers…and the school works with them to channel that into positive learning experiences," says Cook.
"The kids learn about it every day here. The work we do dovetails perfectly with risk-taking, confidence boosting, and having the right attitude. It's the very thing that drives us, fuels our passion, and keeps us moving forward - not only in music, but in life. And it can be tough to wear a good game face when we meet with challenges."

"Fear can also be a powerful motivator," adds McDonald. "It can be really difficult for kids to come out and be their creative selves in front of others, on the spot. This may be their first experience of being in a recording studio-like setting, where ideas are flying, and they're thinking out of the box, and they have to pull it all together."

The workshop was the third in four years in which the duo and other music greats, such as John Hiatt, have worked with students from Hyde and several area high schools in midcoast Maine.

"We all discover something new about ourselves just by being in this workshop," says McDonald. "In this kind of environment, we become aware of our strengths in ways that help them come alive."

"Risk-taking is at the heart of growth," says Malcolm Gauld, parenting expert, president of Hyde Schools, and coauthor of /The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have/. "Musicians and artists take the gutsiest risks early in their careers to get where they need to go, come hell or high water. The field requires that kind of commitment, because the odds of success are so stacked against newcomers. The trick is to keep that attitude, and to keep taking risks, even after success comes."

"That's true for everyone," continues Gauld. "Personally or professionally, we must continue to get out of our comfort zones in order to grow and face challenges. Mike and Don offer a unique and credible endorsement of this concept to the kids in this workshop, and it inspires the kids to want to grab on to it for themselves. But they're parents, too…and they had to learn how to take that into their parenting."

According to Gauld, our own personal growth as adults will be our true legacy to our children-not the material success and achievements we think will inspire them, but our ability to get off track as parents, share our struggles, and reach for our best; that is, to be our authentic selves and to demonstrate courage. This often means understanding that it's okay to let our children know we make mistakes.

"As parents, we make mistakes every day," says Gauld. "And that's all right. We will never be perfect. Still, there are some guiding principles and practical tools that can help us grow as people and inspire our children."

While the school is offered up as a resource to students who want to develop leadership skills and parents who want to strengthen their families, Gauld believes that the best teaching of how to polish up and nurture a positive attitude happens at home with parents - the primary teachers.

Gauld's advice to parents:

1. Take risks in front of your child.

We don't always know the outcome of circumstances, nor do we have complete control in life. Try to adopt the 'I don't know how this is going to turn out - but here goes!' attitude in front of your child. Let them see you succeed, or fail, or learn from your error.
It's important to acquire the attitude of turning obstacles into opportunities, because that will be necessary in life.

"It's important to learn from our failures as well as our successes," says Cook. "But even to fail we need to have the courage to put ourselves out there."

2. Do something each day just for pure joy.

We work hard. But life is also about nurturing ourselves. Show your child there are things you do just for joy. It is important that they learn what they like, what gives them energy, what inspires their creativity - not necessarily for outcome - just for the sheer enjoyment of it.

3. Tackle the deep attitudes that hold you back.

These are the everyday little ones that can get in our way - but some are deeper attitudes that block our greatness, and they belong to everyone in the family. We owe it to ourselves and the ones we love to project the best attitudes we have. Parents, ask for help when you are struggling with an attitude. Be prepared to look at yourself.

4. Understand your role as a parent.

"Inspiration is job #1 for a parent," says Gauld. "Although we love our children and want good relationships with them, we are not here to be their 'best buddies.' We are here to teach them to stand on their own, to accept who they are, to build their character, and help them to become their best selves."

For more information about Malcolm Gauld, Hyde Schools' music workshop, and /The Biggest Job/ book and seminars, contact Rose Mulligan at 207-443-7379, by email at rrmulli@yahoo.com, and visit www.hyde.edu and greatparenting101.com.