It's become an annual event for me, on the cusp of the holiday season, to find my thoughts reflecting back at the rollercoaster ride of emotions I experienced as the holidays approached when my son was in his program. That was many years ago, but those memories remain vivid. I was fortunate to receive some wise counsel that helped me change my attitude and my come-from. Bottom line, it helped me get out of my own 'woe-is-me' mode and shift to an 'attitude of gratitude'. Turned out that was the thing that made all the difference!

I began by simply being grateful that my son was safe and with people who cared that he was safe. Sure, he wasn't home with me, but in reality the holidays were anything but a Hallmark moment before I sent my son to a program. If he hadn't been in his program, that holiday would certainly not have been the picture-perfect traditional holiday I was longing for, nor did I know if it ever would be. What I did know was that at least we now had the hope that one day it could be.

His absence did create a void, and the Universe demands that the voids be filled. There were many holiday traditions we'd always celebrated with, but that year some of them just weren't enjoyable. Another void. More voids demanding to be filled.

That thought really sank in when I considered how I'd want my son to be feeling. Would I want him to be sad and homesick? Goodness no. I would want him to find joy in where he was and what he was doing. And as his mom, wasn't it my role to set the example? I asked myself if my son spent these next weeks feeling identical to the way I was feeling, what would that look like for him? If he saw how I was doing, would he be proud of me? Would my actions inspire respect and encouragement? I wanted him to care about himself, so shouldn't I be doing the same for me? I didn't want him to be miserable, so how could I justify filling the void with misery? I had always loved the holidays and was determined to make this one be the best I could make it.

I consciously sought out moments that brought me renewed joy and awareness. One thing that helped was looking to connect or reach out to others. We never know when we might make a difference for someone else. Yet, merely being willing to do so rewards our lives with a healing joy.

The following are two examples of random acts of kindness that you can use to fill the void that might be threatening to darken your holiday season. Families with kids in programs aren't the only ones separated from their loved ones this holiday season. Many of our service men and women are far from home as well, and many in very scary circumstances. Share your gratitude and holiday cheer with someone else who may need it even more then you. As Thanksgiving ushers in the holidays, fill those voids with the hope, compassion and kindness that give new meaning to the holidays.

The article linked below is from a DOD website called, "America Supports You". It explains how you can send a short text message to service members this Thanksgiving from Nov. 17th - 22nd. Following that information, is an address where you can send a holiday card to a recovering American soldier.

Those voids demand to be filled. Always remember, you get to choose what you fill them with. You can choose to make this holiday meaningful and memorable.


"WASHINGTON, Nov. 2, 2007 - For those seeking a quick way to show appreciation to troops serving far from home this holiday season, look no further than "Giving Thanks," a new initiative from the Defense Department's America Supports You program." Americans Can Text 'Thanks' to Troops By Samantha L. Quigley / American Forces Press Service

When making out your holiday card list this year, please include the following:

A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20307-5001

About the Author:
Glenda Gabriel, Glenda@corebb.com, is a strong advocate for parent's rights and the parent-choice industry. In addition to being the mother of a program graduate, she's worked for many years developing vital parent support services for structured residential boarding schools. Glenda is the Content and Development Director for Core Solutions. www.CoreBB.com, Everett, WA, 360-333-3193.