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Posted May 14, 2003 

CHILDREN ARE FROM HEAVEN
By John Gray, Ph.D.
NY:HarperCollins Pub.:1999

Reviewed by Lon Woodbury
lon@woodbury.com

The author of the best selling book, Men Are From Mars: Women Are from Venus, in this book brings his insights into communication to tackle the problems of parenting. Starting with the belief that "All children are born innocent and good," he asserts that modern children are different, that the old fear-based form of parenting no longer works, and must be replaced by what he calls love-based parenting. He attributes this to a change in the world's collective consciousness during the 20th century and the increased self-understanding that has evolved from the growth of Psychology and exploration of psychological and emotional needs of people. The love-based parenting he has in mind emphasizes five vital messages a child needs to hear almost continuously: 1.) It's okay to be different. 2.) It's okay to make mistakes. 3.) It's okay to express negative emotions. 4.) It's okay to want more. 5.) It's okay to say no, but remember mom and dad are the bosses. This is just to say that he believes children respond better to positive rather than negative reinforcement, so his program and the suggestions contained concentrates on rewarding, not punishing, children and to foster their innate desire to please their parents.

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